Grooms, Listen Up!
Guys, it might seem like the wedding is "all about the bride" but I'm here to tell ya, there's an awful lot riding on YOU, too! In this blog, I'd like to offer a collection of tips and suggestions from one guy to another--they might just make your day go a little more smoothly.When it comes to the wedding plans, a lot of today's grooms are asserting their preferences from the very start. One of the biggest questions is, what will I be wearing? The better question may be, what do you WANT to wear? To get the conversation going, your fiance might be thrilled if you ask her to show you the wedding fashion pictures she's been saving -- or if you're the first one to suggest a visit to the formal wear shop. One thing's for sure though, if choosing what you'll be wearing on your big day is important to you, let her know as soon as possible.
Trust me on this--you're gonna look GREAT on your wedding day! You'll feel great, too, if you have a say so when it comes to style. For example, you may think every groom has to wear a tux--but that isn't necessarily so. Military uniforms are also acceptable. Suits are too, in all but the most formal settings. As a rule of thumb, the darker the suit, the more formal it is. Many of the grooms I see in suits these days choose the popular light tan color, which looks great at an outdoor wedding, for example. Even very casual clothing (ie, loose-fitting cotton shirts, no jackets, etc.) is becoming more popular for casual ceremony settings, like the beach or pool side. It can look great and COST a lot less--but here's the key: the decision needs to be mutual. If you don't already know it, your bride will have definite opinions about where your wedding should take place and more importantly, what she intends to wear (a casual groom doesn't go well with a very formal bride!). Still, if casual clothing is of interest to you, you shouldn't hesitate to speak up, while the planning is in the early stages. You can also have a say so in how you'll be set apart from your groomsmen. The old stand-by is the boutonnieres -- and if you don't speak up, that might be how it'll go for you. You get a red rose, for example, while the rest of the guys get whatever color rose goes best with the wedding theme. But why not take it a step further? If your wedding will be fairly formal, why not try on a tux
with tails--then your groomsmen can wear the matching tail-less version. Or you could set yourself apart with a different color tie or cummerbund. Have a little fun with it--I know of one groom who wore a tie and cummerbund printed with the FSU Seminoles logo (with the approval of his bride, a University of Florida alum!) Some
free-wheeling grooms even set themselves apart by wearing a hat. Are
you brave enough to wear a top hat? Are you more of a cowboy hat kind
of guy? One thing I know a lot of grooms dread about their wedding is the prospect of being in a restrictive jacket all day. But don't worry-- you'll be able to take it off in time for most of the fun. You can count on on wearing your jacket through the first dance and the toast. If there's a formal dance with you mother, you'll pr
obably want to have it on for that as well. After that, comfort becomes a top priority and no one will blame you for ditching that jacket! A couple of other important pieces of advice from your photographer, the most important of which is: be on time for pictures! Although I've found today's grooms are more knowledgable about cameras and photography in general, I still find many of them aren't so interested in the wedding day picture process. Sadly, grooms and their groomsmen are often late for pictures or miss them altogether. That's a big mistake on a day that is often timed down to the minute. That's why I encourage engaged couples to be well-prepared by going over the details with their photographer (and coordinator, if they have one) ahead of time. For example, the groom, his attendants and his family are often the first subjects of the pre-ceremony portrait session. If that doesn't come off as scheduled, the timing of the rest of the day can be derailed. You can do yourself (and your bride) a favor by knowing the plan and making sure you -- and everyone who will be photographed with you -- is on time, and at the spot chosen for pictures. You can also make it a point to be informed as t
o when and where the corsages and boutonnieres will be delivered, so everyone you're responsible for has their flowers on. One thing I've noticed lately is a trend toward more grooms-to-be making the initial contact with prospective wedding photographers. Sometimes it's their interest in photography, sometimes it's because many brides "assign" the technical wedding planning issues to their grooms. But most often, I think, it's because a lot of couples are splitting the planning duties and the guys are simply more likely to be the ones who make some of the initial calls. I've also found that more grooms-to-be are attending the portfolio viewing. I think these are both positive trends and I've enjoyed meeting and getting to know more grooms beforehand. It's always good to have established great rapport with both the bride and groom on "the big day"!
For more great wedding images and ideas, check out my website http://www.dougforner.com
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